What Is Addiction to Fantasy Sex?

Fantasy plays an important role in a healthy sex life. The brain is the real seat of sexual arousal as well as sexual satisfaction, and having an active sexual imagination is a good thing. However, in the brain of a sex addict, the fantasy part of the equation can take on a disproportionately large role and become detrimental not only to the person’s sex life, but possibly to their life in general.

It can be difficult to pin down the scope of a sex addiction where fantasy sex is the primary behavior. A person’s fantasies can involve anything under the sun, and in some cases involve other forms of sex addiction. The core item to remember in these cases is that the fantasy, whatever it is, has become an obsession. The addict thinks about it when they are not having sex, and they make plans to fulfill the fantasy in some way. Then when they do engage in sex, it’s to live up to the fantasy, rather than enjoying the reality.

Many sex fantasies can be met through role playing, so this is a common way for this form of addiction to manifest itself. An addict may start by asking his or her partner to play a certain role when they engage in sex. This could be anything, from simply responding to a different name to simulate them being a stranger, or something more elaborate involving outfits and staged scenarios. Such behavior can be fun, and key to a long sexual relationship. However, a sex addict may require, coerce, or even demand the partner fill the role even when they do not wish to do so.

Since those patterns can vary a great deal, this form of sex addiction is not always easy to recognize. The addict may be the one filling the role, with the partner being less important, someone to be acted upon. It may not be a role that is the fantasy, but an act, location, or circumstance. Sexual preferences and so-called “turn-ons” are too numerous to count or describe.

A hallmark of addictive behavior is when it is continued despite negative consequences. We said earlier the fantasy can become an obsession, and this is where it affects the sex addict directly. Constantly thinking about the fantasy can be a distraction, hampering a person’s professional or social life by diverting their attention from matters at hand. Their productivity at work may suffer or their social life can diminish if they find it difficult to maintain interest in everyday topics. They may bring aspects of their fantasy to work, causing problems, or it can enter social situations where it is not appropriate.

Pornography can serve as an outlet for fantasies, letting the sex addict live vicariously through the performers. This is where the fantasy addiction can blend with a pornography addiction, and in more extreme cases lead to patronizing phone sex lines or prostitutes.

For a sex addict in a relationship, the addiction can of course damage the relationship in a variety of ways. If the partner is routinely involved in carrying out fantasies they do not like or have perhaps merely become bored with, they will become disenfranchised with the relationship. They may also see their partner’s efforts to fulfill the fantasy in other ways as forms of infidelity.

Forming a new relationship can also be difficult if the sex fantasy is the core motive. While there are multiple avenues for meeting consenting adults willing to engage in fantasy sex acts, these relationships are based on a very narrow aspect of a healthy relationship, and are not likely to succeed or make either party truly happy in the long term. It may even lead to the sex addict developing a distorted view of what a healthy relationship is.

[http://www.OnSexAddiction.com] helps individuals struggling with Sex Addiction, Porn Addiction, Compulsive Masturbation, other dangerous sexual behaviors, and the consequences of those addictions, get sober and into recovery so they can lead richer, fuller, more successful and healthy lives.