Sex Tips: Getting Into Role Playing

Even couples who enjoy a vibrant sex life can occasionally use some sex tips to make things even spicier in bed. One of the most common sex tips is to take active steps to keep things fresh and not let one’s sex life slowly become stale. For many couples, that means exploring things they haven’t tried before, whether it’s a new sex position or sex in a different location or some other option – such as incorporating role playing into their sex lives.

Role playing

Simply put, role playing is simply an adult version of the child’s game “Let’s pretend.” Sexual role playing enables a person or a couple to live out some of their sexual fantasies in a safe manner. This is an especially good activity for a couple who has been together for a long time and whose sex lives may have lost a little sparkle and/or spontaneity.

In role playing, a couple agrees on a scenario to act out – or, in some cases, agrees just to improvise a scenario, without any planning beforehand. For beginners, most sex tips advisers recommend spending some time laying out a few ground rules. These might include:

– Make sure both players are comfortable. A partner should not be forced into role playing if they truly do not want to. If they are hesitant but not adamantly opposed, it’s good to communicate what is keeping them from playing and determining if they are just “shy” and might need a little push, or if they have a real opposition to playing.

– Discuss boundaries. In advance, be sure to be clear on what each partner finds acceptable and what each one does not. This is especially important if the role playing is going to include any kind of “kink” component, such as bondage. Some partners may be uncomfortable even with just incorporating certain language phrases, so be sure to clear the air in advance.

– Don’t judge. When discussing possible fantasies to role play, partners should not be judgemental. It can take a lot of courage to discuss some things that turn a person on, so be respectful; if it is a fantasy that is not an option for a partner, they should say they don’t feel they could do that without getting condemning their partner.


So once a couple decides to try a little role playing and has discussed this, they may be stuck for some examples of roles to play. The following are offered strictly as suggestions:

– Officer and lawbreaker. A very popular one, in which one partner is an officer of the law and the other has broken the law in some way. For example, she may have been caught speeding or he may have been apprehended breaking into a bank. Often the scenario involves the perpetrator offering to exchange sexual favors in order to be set free.

– Movie characters. Pick two characters from a favorite movie and have sex in character. This may include a seduction scene as well, especially if these are characters a couple has “shipped” who don’t actually get together in the movie.

– Fire officer. A fire officer rescues a person from a burning building – and while giving mouth-to-mouth resuscitation develops a burning passion.

Sex tips for activities like role playing also recommend that a man be in his best shape for the activities – so guys should definitely daily apply a top notch penis health creme (health professionals recommend Man 1 Man Oil, which is clinically proven mild and safe for skin). The penis will benefit from a crème that contains both L-arginine and L-carnitine. The former is an amino acid which helps boost nitric oxide production; this in turn helps penile blood vessels expand as needed. The latter has neuroprotective properties, which can help maintain proper penis sensation when the organ is handled too roughly or aggressively.


What Is Addiction to Fantasy Sex?

Fantasy plays an important role in a healthy sex life. The brain is the real seat of sexual arousal as well as sexual satisfaction, and having an active sexual imagination is a good thing. However, in the brain of a sex addict, the fantasy part of the equation can take on a disproportionately large role and become detrimental not only to the person’s sex life, but possibly to their life in general.

It can be difficult to pin down the scope of a sex addiction where fantasy sex is the primary behavior. A person’s fantasies can involve anything under the sun, and in some cases involve other forms of sex addiction. The core item to remember in these cases is that the fantasy, whatever it is, has become an obsession. The addict thinks about it when they are not having sex, and they make plans to fulfill the fantasy in some way. Then when they do engage in sex, it’s to live up to the fantasy, rather than enjoying the reality.

Many sex fantasies can be met through role playing, so this is a common way for this form of addiction to manifest itself. An addict may start by asking his or her partner to play a certain role when they engage in sex. This could be anything, from simply responding to a different name to simulate them being a stranger, or something more elaborate involving outfits and staged scenarios. Such behavior can be fun, and key to a long sexual relationship. However, a sex addict may require, coerce, or even demand the partner fill the role even when they do not wish to do so.

Since those patterns can vary a great deal, this form of sex addiction is not always easy to recognize. The addict may be the one filling the role, with the partner being less important, someone to be acted upon. It may not be a role that is the fantasy, but an act, location, or circumstance. Sexual preferences and so-called “turn-ons” are too numerous to count or describe.

A hallmark of addictive behavior is when it is continued despite negative consequences. We said earlier the fantasy can become an obsession, and this is where it affects the sex addict directly. Constantly thinking about the fantasy can be a distraction, hampering a person’s professional or social life by diverting their attention from matters at hand. Their productivity at work may suffer or their social life can diminish if they find it difficult to maintain interest in everyday topics. They may bring aspects of their fantasy to work, causing problems, or it can enter social situations where it is not appropriate.

Pornography can serve as an outlet for fantasies, letting the sex addict live vicariously through the performers. This is where the fantasy addiction can blend with a pornography addiction, and in more extreme cases lead to patronizing phone sex lines or prostitutes.

For a sex addict in a relationship, the addiction can of course damage the relationship in a variety of ways. If the partner is routinely involved in carrying out fantasies they do not like or have perhaps merely become bored with, they will become disenfranchised with the relationship. They may also see their partner’s efforts to fulfill the fantasy in other ways as forms of infidelity.

Forming a new relationship can also be difficult if the sex fantasy is the core motive. While there are multiple avenues for meeting consenting adults willing to engage in fantasy sex acts, these relationships are based on a very narrow aspect of a healthy relationship, and are not likely to succeed or make either party truly happy in the long term. It may even lead to the sex addict developing a distorted view of what a healthy relationship is.

[] helps individuals struggling with Sex Addiction, Porn Addiction, Compulsive Masturbation, other dangerous sexual behaviors, and the consequences of those addictions, get sober and into recovery so they can lead richer, fuller, more successful and healthy lives.


Anal Sex: 8 Tips for Fun, Safe Play

Anal sex certainly isn’t for everyone, but some men and women can’t get enough. For the beginner, the practice may be a bit intimidating, but partners can educate themselves about the ins and outs of posterior play to make the activity as pleasurable and safe as possible. Practicing proper anal, vaginal and penile care before, during and after anal sex is crucial, and the following information will help couples learn how to do so.

Why the Behind?

Anal sex may be appealing to both men and women for several reasons. Men may want to penetrate a posterior because it is tighter than a vagina. They may also enjoy the somewhat taboo nature of the act, and who could blame them?

Women may enjoy rear penetration for a couple reasons. First, the nerve ending around the anus are very sensitive and some find penetration stimulating. Second, there are sensitive areas between a woman’s rectum and vagina that may create pleasure when pressure within the rectum is placed upon them.

Some men enjoy being penetrated in the behind, and not just gay men. The prostate gland is stimulated during posterior play for a man, and this can be highly enjoyable. Plus, his anal nerve endings are just as sensitive as hers.

Is it Safe?

Anal sex can be safe, but special precautions are required. This is primarily because the risk of spreading infections, both vaginal and sexually transmitted, are high with anal play.

The transmission rates of HIV and HPV are higher for anal sex than vaginal sex. That’s because the anus and rectum are not naturally lubricated, so, even when a product is used for extra lubrication, tears in and around the anus are likely to occur. Broken skin gives viruses easy access to the body.

Women are more prone to vaginal infections when anal sex is involved in playtime because the rectum is full of bacteria, since its primary function is to store feces. If a penis or toy that has been in her rectum is inserted into the vagina without being very thoroughly cleaned or without a condom change, she is prone to developing an infection.

Another potential complication of regular anal sex is the loosening of the anal sphincter. This muscle allows a person to hold feces in until the appropriate time to release. If it weakens, one’s ability to “hold it” weakens, too.

Though rare, ample bleeding after anal sex could indicate a hole in the colon, which requires an immediate trip to the hospital.

Steps to Take

1) Lube, lube, lube.

2) Wash the anal area before and after sex.

3) Wear a condom.

4) Only use water-based lubricant if latex condoms are used.

5) Relax – the receiving partner will incur fewer anal tears if he or she is relaxed upon insertion.

6) Change the condom and wash the penis before entering any other orifice.

7) Know your partner’s sex history and STI status.

8) If on the receiving end, perform anal Kegel exercises to maintain sphincter muscle tone.

Taking care of the anus, vagina and penis is essential to safe and pleasurable anal sex. Another thing men can do to look out for their penises, along with practicing proper hygiene, is to use a penis health creme (health professionals recommend Man1 Man Oil) to promote good skin condition, ample circulation and nerve function. Applying such a product after showering can keep the penis pleasant to the eye and touch. A crème with a combination of natural moisturizers such as Shea butter and vitamin E is ideal for tag-teaming dry skin, both providing and sealing in moisture.